One record at a time: 360. Pet Shop Boys - Bilingual

"Bilingual" came out in 1996 and was heavily influenced by the music the Pet Shop Boys had heard on their tour of South America the year before. Here I will be listening to one of two copies of the 2018 remastered version but I also have the original in my collection.

Back when it was released I had to force myself to like this album. The lead single "Before" was an immediate disappointment and I still don't enjoy it much. "Electricity" is hands down one of the worst tracks Neil and Chris have ever included on an album and "Metamorphosis" is a toe-curling rap that neither K-Klass nor Pet Shop Boys emerge from with much dignity. "A Red Letter Day" is a nice composition but a real mess when it comes to the production as the vocals are pushed too high in the mix and the God awful choir sound completely out of tune to my ears.

On the other hand, "It Always Comes as a Surprise" is a heartbreakingly beautiful song that is definitely the high watermark of this album. There are many elements to enjoy in this song with bossa nova beats, an epic Moog bassline and sincere lyrics that are delivered without a trace of irony. A masterpiece.

The production skills of Chris Porter are also to be found on the excellent "To Step Aside" which grooves along as Neil's considers what might happen if he were to give it all up. Johnny Marr adds a sparkle to "Up Against It" and "Saturday Night Forever" is much underrated. The success of the single "Se a vida é (That's the Way Life Is)" still surprises me, but there is no denying it has a life affirming charm and catchy melody. So there are some highlights here, but this material may not be easy listening for the casual observer. 3/5

One record at a time: 359. Pet Shop Boys - Alternative

"Alternative" is a triple album that collects together most of the b-sides and extra tracks issued on Pet Shop Boys singles between 1985 and 1995.

I bought my copy in 2005 for £11 which, for a record that seems to fetch over £200 today, seems a bit ridiculous. Yet in the halcyon days before the modern vinyl resurgence, nobody really wanted records like this and they could be bought quite cheaply. Unfortunately my copy is missing the sticker that originally sealed in the contents, but the discs themselves are immaculate. Given a choice of owning this copy or nothing, I will declare myself content.

The first five songs here seem to be a perfect illustration of the boys finding their feet as producers and songwriters. "A Man Could Get Arrested" is based on a track from the earliest days of their career and was written with Bobby Orlando. The clumsy "Disco Mix" of "That's My Impression" is their first foray into self production and "Paninaro" sees Chris triumphantly demonstrating his innate ability to write a cracking tune. By the time we hear the brilliant "Jack the Lad", "A New Life" and "Do I Have To?" it is clear Neil and Chris have entered their "imperial" phase and found it impossible to make a misstep. 

I remember reading a review of the single "So Hard" back in 1990 where the author bemoaned the fact that the b-side "It Must Be Obvious" was a wonderful song that had effectively been discarded. By including songs such as this on a compilation album it felt like Pet Shop Boys were acknowledging their legitimacy and branding them with the same guarantee of quality carried by the singles they backed. Things do drop off towards the end with "If Love Were All" and "What Keeps Mankind Alive?" dragging the score down a bit, but make no mistake this is a great record. 4/5

One record at a time: 358. Pet Shop Boys - Disco 2

*Sigh* Where do I start with "Disco 2"? You would think a remix album based upon the hugely popular album "Very" would be a winner wouldn't you? But no; "Disco 2" doesn't succeed on any level.

I knew this album was going to be a mess as soon as I bought it. Firstly, as a Pet Shop Boys fan and collector, I realised I already owned all of the music on the record (well it was a CD back then). The second issue I found was that one of the remixes was of a song not originally credited to Pet Shop Boys ("Absolutely Fabulous") and two tracks were associated with the album "Behaviour". Many songs are included more than once with "Yesterday, When I Was Mad" being represented no less than three times. 

The perfect mess is completed by a terrible continuous mix by Danny Rampling that has vinyl surface noise and some songs played at completely the wrong speed. I fully understand that Rampling needed to use traditional beat matching techniques (it was 1994 after all) but the end result sounds almost comical in places.

The remixes of this era are definitely not the highlight of the Pet Shop Boys back catalogue and the decision to include such terrors as the E Smoove mix of "Liberation", Junior Vasquez's take on "Yesterday When I Was Mad" or "I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing (DJ Pierre Wild Pitch Mix)" are as alarming as they are puzzling. 1/5

One record at a time: 357. Pet Shop Boys - Relentless

"Relentless" was described by the Pet Shop Boys as a "rhythm" album and was originally released as a limited edition compact disc alongside "Very" in 1993. For many years the only way to hear these songs from vinyl was via one of 500 promo records (the one with the white sleeve that carries the cunning catalogue number DF118) but in 2023 the album was given a formal release to mark its thirtieth anniversary on both CD and yellow vinyl (black sleeve).

The story goes that these songs came about because Chris Lowe had written a series of instrumental tacks that Neil couldn't think of lyrics for. Rather than discard the music, they decided to spend a week in Sarm Studios to work the songs up and release them as an album.

Whilst "Relentless" had aspirations of appealing to the dance floor, the reality is that things don't stray too far from the traditional Pet Shop Boys formula. As much as they love dance music the boys can never shake a predilection for melody and this album retains many pop sensibilities as a result. "One Thing Leads To Another" wouldn't sound out of place on "Very" and the original version of "Forever in Love" was intended to be the b-side of "Go West". Where this record does lean more heavily towards dance music it tends incorporate a Euro-house sound which was popular in the charts, but was never likely to be played at contemporary clubs such as Cream, Fabric or Ministry of Sound. 

The one thing that does distinguish this album from some of its more mainstream pop brethren is the use of samples. Personally I find some of them very annoying with "We Came From Outer Space" almost driving me crazy with repetition. For many years I found it impossible to discern what the female vocalist was saying on "The Man Who Has Everything" and using the "Amen, Brother" break (again) seems a little lazy to twenty first century ears. Yet I loved this record in 1993. Maybe it just hasn't aged well. 3/5

One record at a time: 356. Pet Shop Boys - Very

I didn't pick up the LP of "Very" when it was released in 1993 as I only bought compact discs back then. Fast forward about ten years and the band's official website was selling off some old stock they had lying around so I decided to pick up a copy of "Very" on vinyl to fill the hole in my collection. More recently I acquired the 2018 remastered release which is pressed on 180g vinyl and sounds great.

Sometime in the late nineties I found the picture disc shown in the photo at a record shop that was closing down and got it for a bargain price. Despite being featured in the retrospective book "Catalogue", this isn't a legitimate release and like most bootlegs, it doesn't sound all that great. 

The Colombian version with the unique sleeve was an eBay purchase from about 2004 and turned into a major headache when I realised the seller only accepted payment in Colombian pesos via Western Union. Until recently I wasn't really clear on why this version had a different sleeve, but the BBC documentary "Imagine: Then and Now" helped me come up with a theory. 

When looking at the European LP of "Very" Chris says, "We don't like this. It looks like an inner sleeve doesn't it?" To which Neil replies, "You know why? It is an inner sleeve". As the inner of the final LP is the same as the photo used on the Colombian version, I think Neil and Chris simply decided to swap the designs of the inner and outer sleeve. However, the branch of EMI in Colombia either didn't get the memo or they figured they were so remote they could do whatever they wanted.

The music on these records is some of the most commercial the boys have ever released as chart hits like "Go West", "Can You Forgive Her?" and "I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing" testify. Yet there's no album filler here and this is one of those classic albums that justifies use of the trope "every song could be a single". If you really want me to nit pick I would say that the production on "One and One Make Five" never convinced me, I'm not keen on the song "One in a million" and "Young Offender" sounds very muddled in places. We didn't know it at the time, but this was one of pop music's last great hurrahs before Britpop came along to ruin the party. 4/5

One record at a time: 355. Pet Shop Boys - Discography

"Discography" is a double album of greatest hits released in 1991. Here I have the UK version pressed at EMI in Hayes and one from EMI Uden in the Netherlands. I was content with owning one copy of this album but a second seemed determined to fall into my possession.

About ten years ago I ordered an LP of "Please" over the internet but the seller mistakenly sent me "Discography". I informed them of the error and returned the package as agreed. However, the seller failed to pick up the parcel and it was returned to me by Royal Mail. Having messaged the vendor several times without reply I gave up and kept the record. Whilst "Discography" on vinyl has always been relatively collectable, Popsike.com tells me it sold for around £20 in 2014 so I didn't feel particularly guilty about not being able to return it; even if it does fetch over £50 today.

Understandably this album misses out the original version of "West End Girls" and the early single "One More Chance" which were released when the boys were signed with Bobby Orlando. Also omitted is the first version of "Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money)" which was their debut on EMI records but wasn't a hit. Instead we open with the hit version of "West End Girls" and move chronologically through their singles released up to 1991. 

The only other omission from this chronology is the single version of "How Can You Expect To Be Taken Seriously?" which was initially created by dance producers Brothers in Rhythm and then overdubbed by Neil and Chris. However, the song was released as a 'double a side' and the boys felt justified in culling it to allow the album to fit on one CD.

Also produced by Brothers In Rhythm were two new tracks titled "DJ Culture" and "Was It Worth It?". The former single was released prior to the album and, despite it not being particularly anthemic or tuneful, I like it very much. "Was It Worth It?" however is a limp effort that just doesn't sound like a Pet Shop Boys song. I can't put my finger on what is wrong with this track but it doesn't succeed for me. The only joy in buying this single was the b-side "Miserablism", but I don't think its release will have moved the needle on "Discography" sales one bit. Still, this is a highly revered collection of singles from when the band were in their imperial phase and is essential if you have any appreciation for the band. 5/5

One record at a time: 354. Pet Shop Boys - Behaviour

When I bought the compact disc of "Behaviour" from the supermarket back in 1990, I was expecting another album full of dance pop tunes in the vein of "Please" and "Actually". What I got was a collection of melancholy songs with shuffle rhythms and plaintive lyrics. Whilst I can't pretend that "Behaviour" was anything other than a disappointment when I first heard it, I have come to love it over the last thirty four years.

At one time Neil Tennant described this album as "mellow" and explained that developments in his personal life coloured its production. Compared to previous efforts "Behaviour" sold poorly and Chris Lowe flippantly commented that, "We should write another good dance album, write Behaviour off as a tax loss". So I know I wasn't alone in my initial disappointment.

Proceedings commence with "Being Boring" which was originally an attempt to write in the style of Stock, Aitken and Waterman. However, the track that emerged from the production process was a brooding autobiography and not a frothy hi-nrg pop song. Whilst "Being Boring" has gone on to become something of a cult classic, it would be revisionist to say it has always been revered. I like the song very much, but its wistful nature and brittle production mean it isn't amongst my favourites. 

There are quite a few tracks in a similar vein with "Nervously", "To Face The Truth", "Jealousy" and "Only The Wind" all eschewing dance rhythms and settling on a doleful style. When I finally got over myself and began to appreciate that not every Pet Shop Boys track needed a dance rhythm to be good, I realised these tracks were actually amazing. The only song I still fail to warm to is "My October Symphony" which I don't skip when listening to the record, but I don't look forward to it much either.

One of few dance rhythms are heard on "How Can You Expect To Be Taken Seriously?" which is a sort of new jack swing pastiche that doesn't succeed lyrically or musically. Pet Shop Boys have never recorded anything like this before or since and to be frank, it sticks out like a turd in a fruit bowl. The lead single "So Hard" is a fantastic song but it's TR-909 beats and throbbing sequencer lines completely misled me on the content of the final album. I have always loved the song "The End of the World" which remains a hidden gem and is neglected by the band and overlooked by fans.

Eventually I sold my original CD (to my brother's geography teacher weirdly enough) in anticipation of buying the two CD Japanese version in a plush velvet box, but I didn't consider buying an LP until about ten years ago. I don't own anything special here just two copies of the original UK release and two copies of the 2018 remastered version. I am torn on how to score this album as it has much I enjoy, but I still feel a sting of disappointment all these years later and the scars of "Seriously" and "My October Symphony" mean I can't give it full marks. 4/5