The death and resurrection of a JP-8080

Many years ago, a very wise man taught me one of the basic facts of life. He taught me this so that I did not have to find it out for myself. This is because you really do not want to mix liquids and mains voltage electricity. Until today, I had avoided creating this deadly mixture of elements quite successfully. The fact that I did mix these two elements today is made even more upsetting when you consider that it happened in my studio.

Today had been a day of much frustration trying to get my Triton Rack to install the programs for the ROM expansions chips I acquired from eBay (more on this at a later date!). I then had to create patch scripts for Cubase and the whole situation was driving me to distraction. Typing is not as much fun as ‘playing with my organ’.

Thus when it was time to take a welcome break I naturally reached out to take the cup of coffee (precariously balanced on the edge of the desk) with me. What happened next is the stuff of nightmares and it really did happen in slow motion. I stood transfixed as the warm coffee fell from the cup and into the internal workings of my much beloved Roland JP-8080 synthesizer below it. The liquid did not so much land on the synth but a kind of envelopment took place. As the LCD screen began to blink, I recognised the signs of an imminent death. Oh dear God……

Stupidly I then dived for the machine, unplugging it and throwing it onto the floor in one swift and ill-calculated motion. Tipping the synth sent a large amount of still warm coffee pouring from its ventilation grill and through the sliders on the front panel. Having assumed the worst, I finished cleaning up and began to investigate the cost of a new JP-8080. Gulp.

Having waited an hour I plucked up the courage to plug the synth into the mains and watched with horror as the LCD turned blank (but at least I was not electrocuted). Some time later, my 2 year old niece pressed the ‘preview’ button accidentally and the synth began to emit some decidedly unhealthy noises (she loved it of course). It was at this moment that I realised I had also damaged one or two of the controller knobs by throwing the unit onto the floor. As a last attempt at breathing some life into the machine, I stuffed it into the airing cupboard and hoped it might dry out and miraculously work again.

Do you know what? Do you know what? She breathes again! Ok so some of the buttons are a bit sticky due to java residue and the volume knob is a little ‘wobbly’ but it emits the sounds it is supposed to! A miracle.

So I can confirm that the JP-8080 is built like a tank and can survive envelopment by a cup of coffee. However, I do still believe that liquids and mains voltage electricity should not be mixed. I also believe that liquids should NEVER be taken into a room packed with expensive electrical equipment; let that be a lesson to us all.