Is a tune too much to ask for?

What in the name of god has happened to Björk? “Homogenic” is one of my top ten albums of all time and I am certain no one will ever surpass her live performance I witnessed in 1996 as part of the “Post” tour. Her versatility and originality were beyond compare. But, to me, her new album “Biophilia” represents a low point in her fall from musical grace.

There were three components to the work of Björk. Firstly she was the most amazing and unique vocalist, secondly she could write a great song and finally her music was well produced. Whilst her vocal ability remains, it seems Björk has come to the conclusion that she doesn’t need to write tunes and that a dirge will now suffice. To add insult to injury, she has decided that she will, in the main, produce these dirges herself. Predictably the result is something of a disaster.

There really is not one song to redeem this album. Recent albums such as “Volta” and “Medulla” had one or maybe two tracks that proved to be entertaining and thus the CD’s were not a complete waste of money. However, “Biophilia” is a stinker and even illegally downloading it for free will cost more in electricity than it is worth. A truly awful album.

In my imagination I give Björk a nudge and a wink and say: “Hey. Go back and make something a bit more like “Post”. I don’t expect another “Homogenic” but Jesus stop it with the arty, tuneless garbage and give us something with a beat now and again.”

Not The Most Incredible Thing

In 2009 the Vinyl Factory special edition of the Pet Shop Boy’s “Yes” album was finally delivered. There were on 300 of these hand crafted editions and they retailed at £300.

Originally scheduled to be delivered in April they finally arrived in June and I even had a good moan about the delay on this blog. Happily the product was well worth the wait and almost justified its price tag. I’m still very happy to own one.

With the release of Neil and Chris’s ballet score “The Most Incredible Thing” we were once again promised the opportunity to order a limited Vinyl Factory edition. However this time there was a £350 price tag and there were to be 500 available. Pet Heads with too much money placed their orders in March ready for a May delivery date. During a ridiculous delay of 3 months (more galling as the manufacturer had already taken our money) a few people cancelled their orders and obtained refunds. Unlike the ‘Yes’ box set which sold out within days, this edition is still available for order on the Vinyl Factory website. Not an overwhelming response.

So is the finished product worth the expense and the delay? Errrr no. Not at all.

Back in June 2009 it took me some time to make conclusions about the sister “Yes” box set, but this product is distinctly underwhelming. It might well be hand crafted and the vinyl may well be lovingly pressed, but it’s not the impressive package that I expected.

So, we open our cardboard box and find the box set encased in polystyrene and a plastic bag. The number of the box set is written in biro on the box and on a sticker attached to the polystyrene.

The discs are contained within an oversized hard back book which is in turn stored in a hard case. There are six records. The original released score is on the first three and the demo recordings are featured on the second three LP’s. Each 'sleeve' is a page in the book and printed on the front is a synopsis of the ballet's story.

A seventh record sleeve holds a sheet music print of a number of bars of the prologue and is signed by Neil and Chris. This print is also numbered. (You can tell I'm failing to get excited can't you?)

Okay, so I bought this as a collector and am not going to play it. But unlike my "Yes" box set, I won't be taking this bland white box down from the shelf to pore over its beauty and be proud to own it. I hope the seemingly poor commercial sucess of this box set means we might now see an end to these costly exclusive editions.

Essentially, "Essentials" isn't essential

My musical awakening occurred in 1986. I immediately gravitated towards the pop music of the day which was, thankfully, largely produced with electronic instruments. I soon discovered the music of other more recognised ‘electronic’ musicians such as Kraftwerk, Tangerine Dream and most importantly Jean-Michel Jarre. Jarre soon became my childhood hero. I began to devour anything Jarre; TV programmes, books, magazines and most obviously his LP’s. I would save up my pocket money and ride my bicycle to the record department of our local supermarket. Once inside, I spent hours looking at the slabs of polythene covered wonder and deciding which part of the back catalogue I would consume next. Magical times.

As far as I am concerned Jarre’s crown began to slip with the 1990 album “Waiting for Cousteau”. Two years had passed since the Dockland’s concerts and the wonder of the “Revolutions” album. I was expecting great things from his new material, not least because I purchased my first CD player in the intervening years and was looking forward to my first Jarre CD. Imagine my dismay to find Jarre only recorded half of an album and simply plonked a 40 min dirge on the end. Very disappointing (a quick look through the mp3’s on my hard drive confirms my disappointment is somewhat prolonged as the only album missing from the 67 different Jarre albums and singles represented is Cousteau).

The slide down the musical dung heap continued through the years with momentary revivals in fortune with the odd track here and there (Chronologie 4 and 6 and some bits of “Oxygene 7-13”). Yet the decline was palpable, and as it turns out, inexorable.

This brings us to the latest “Essentials and Rarities” release. My first problem with this CD is the title. Not only do I already own about 5 other Jarre compilations called “Essential” but the selection of tracks is rather eclectic to say the least. Reading the accompanying booklet confirms Jarre picked the tracks as a tribute to his friend and old record company boss Francis Dreyfus rather than defining a ‘Best of’. So why call it “Essentials” then?

The first CD consists of music any Jarre fan knows with some odd bits on Equinoxe 4 (dare I suggest the master tape is past its best?) and the original version of Zoolook rather than the remix which replaced it on all but the first pressings of the eponymously titled album. Jarre seems to have forgotten he made “Chronologie” and picked one of the worst tracks from his “Metamorphoses” album. I ordered this package as it promised a bonus disc of Jarre’s pre-Oxygene work (all of which is available on Bootleg CD’s) and some new nifty artwork (I am a sucker for those CD’s pressed up to look like LP’s, love ‘em). I have heard all the tracks beforehand, it’s true to say the mastering is much better on this ‘official’ CD but some of the tracks are so old and have so much tape hiss you have to wonder why they bothered. So essentially “Essentails” is not essential but it might do enough to remind me of Jarre’s lost genius (and possibly make me rip my Cousteau CD just to heal a wound).

Credo is a credit to the league

The Human League’s “Credo” is a welcome return from obscurity. Having been severely disappointed by 2001’s “Secrets” (I’ve played it 3 times at most) I wasn’t expecting much following a 10 year hiatus - but “Credo” delivers some great moments. “Breaking the Chains” “Sky” and “Get Together” are really good tracks that highlight the cohesive and minimalistic style of producers I Monster. The majority of tracks are well produced and interesting with some real moments of genius.

However you would have thought that Oakey would have learned. Ever since we suffered the butt clenchingly bad lyric “Before he leaves the camp he stops, He scans the world outside, and where there used to be some shops, is where the snipers sometimes hide” I have prayed for The Human League to get some help writing lyrics. Alas, “Credo” continues in the same vain as its predecessors: “”Put on your best frocks and blouses, time to go out from your houses, must we creep round like the mouses?” What????? 

Putting the lyrical clunks aside, I am really pleased that at least one electronic ‘old school’ (I refuse to pigeon hole anyone as an 80’s group) band can still make a decent record that I don’t begrudge having paid money for. Blancmange take note.

Blancmange: He's having a coffee - he wants it hot

The return of Blancmange was announced about 18 months ago. Soon after we heard excerpt of tracks they were working on from their web page: they were pretty poor and almost laughable. I dismissed them as the finger paintings of two old collaborators having fun and trying to find a way into writing something worth recording.

Imagine my surprise when I played their new album “blanc burn” to find one of the afore mentioned ‘finger paintings’ the first track on the CD. From this inauspicious start things do improve slightly, but not much. The half finished single “Drive Me” goes nowhere; “The Western” works well, but is pulled down by the tracks book ending it. Apart from “Don’t Let These Days” little else on this album deserves mention.

Blancmange have always displayed questionable quality control on their albums and I suppose “blanc burn” follows in this tradition. They aren’t being avante garde, they aren’t being clever, and they aren’t being individual. It’s just crap, and if the album dies on its arse they only have themselves to blame.

What is going on?

What is going on? In the middle of last year we were led to believe that Royksopp's new album "Senior" would be the stunning but quiet and introspective counterpoint to the dance pop of "Junior" only to find it was a distinctly underwhelming experience.

Now another major mover in the world of electronic music has fallen from my grace in a more spectacular fashion. With the release of "Delicacies" Simian Mobile Disco seem to have circumvented any quality control and just released their demo's and called it a new album. As one of my friends said of the album recently: "Where are the tunes?"

"Delicacies" seems to have followed "Temporary Pleasure" after an indecently short period of time and alarm bells began to ring when the release schedule included a mixed version of the album as if it was easily reduced to a DJ set; not exactly a marker of quality in my book. Whilst Royksopp's "Senior" was at least well produced and original, "Delicacies" sounds like a flick through the demo's of any other Sounclick bound bedroom failure (this includes myself you understand).

I think my reason for disliking this album are more intense as I loved "Attack, Decay, Sustain, Release" and "Temporary Pleasure" showed some promise for the future. We all knew this new album was going to be "techno based" but hell, we didn't realise there were to be no tunes. Writing songs with a good groove is one thing, but writing them with a good tune has always been quite another.

"Delicacies" is one of those albums that is produced by a band who have lost direction. Self indulgent, uninteresting and repetitive; "Delicacies" is one dish I can happily refuse.

Failing to see the difference

I miss the days when buying a single was an easy affair. Generally you looked at the tracks on the 12” to check if it had everything the 7” did. I always bought the 12” and then the 7” if it had a different mix or b-side.

With the release of ‘Together’ the Pet Shop Boys have confused me somewhat. Once I got my head around the myriad of mixes and formats both digital and physical I made my choices and paid my money. However, I am failing to understand the difference between the 3:30 Radio Mix of the title track and the 3:31 Ultimate mix. I consider myself to have quite good ears and especially for Pet Shop Boys tracks but I am left baffled as to the difference between these two uniquely labelled mixes.

Is there a difference? Does anyone know? Is it a typo? The web seems to give me no answers and nobody else seems to asking the question. Am I going mad or are my ears defunct?